Twas the night
When all through the city
Not a mutant was stirring
Not even itty-bitty
The McMurray’s all hung their stockings
By the chimney with care
That St. Nicholas
Soon would be there
The children were nestled
[Accept for me parental unit designated as Father. I was coupled to the internet researching the mythological being known as Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas and simply “Santa”.], resonates Hope.
All safe in their beds
While visions of sugarplums
Danced in their heads
“Go to bed Hope…”, Kirt replies
And mom in her nightgown
And I in my cap,
Had just settled down
For a long winters nap…
[…but Father, and extended winter’s nap implies that you will be sleeping for a extensive period of time, thus missing Christmas since the winter season is regarded as beginning at the solstice and ending on the following equinox — in the Northern Hemisphere, depending on the year, this corresponds to the period between 21 or 22 December and 20 or 21 March.], Hope chimes on in.
“Hope… Go to bed.”, Kirt replies again.
When out on the lawn
There arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed
To see what was the matter…
[Father! Should I initiate security protocol Alpha-Omega? It appears that we are under hostile attack. I can have the lawn gnomes ready their laser…], Hope queries.
“It’s just s story Hope.”, Adam says from his bed.
Away to the window
I flew like The Flash
Tore open the shutters
[Did you know finding reliable and knowledgeable home maintenance and repair professionals can be costly. In fact, it can be so costly you might be tempted to take advantage of special offers, door to door solicitors or others offering bargain rates. Don’t even think about it, Father!], Hope chiming in again.
And threw up the sash
Adam sighs from his bed tossing one of his pillows at Hope.
The moon on the breast
[Father, you shouldn’t use such language.], looks at her Father with one of them you’re naughty faces.
Of the new fallen snow
Gave the luster
To object below
“Sorry Hope.”, Kirt apologizes.
To my wandering eyes
But a miniature sleigh
And eight tiny reindeer
[Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, I know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations I will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc. This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second – a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.], Hope adds.
Facepalming “Do you want to hear this story or not?”, says Kirt
[Yes, father please maintains the story and carry on.], Hope resonates.
“Hoooope!”, Adam sighs.
With a little ol driver
So lively and quick
I knew in a moment
It must be St. nick
More rapid than eagles
His courses they came
As he whistled
Them by name
[You know Dasher and Dancer And Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid And Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall The most famous reindeer of all? Why is Rudolph never mentioned, father? All of the other reindeer called him names and persecuted him. It seems that with all of the songs out there and tales have forgotten about him. So did the remainder of that Christmas song when Santa came to say Rudolph with your nose so bright Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight? Then all the reindeer loved him And they shouted out with glee “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer You’ll go down in history!”], questions Hope.
Rubbing the back of his neck… “Well Hope… If you recall it was a foggy night when Santa called upon him. Rudolph is a very busy reindeer. He isn’t always there. They call upon his special abilities and powers when needed.”, Kirt says.
[Kind of like you Father. You have special abilities. The government and the people of the world called upon you and your friends when the world was going through a foggy time.], Hope quips.
“That’s right Hope. I guess I am. How very astute of you.”, Kirt says with a smile.
To the top
Of the porch
To the top
Of the wall
As dry leaves
Before the wild
When they meet
With an obstacle
Mount to the sky
To the housetop
With a sleigh
Full of toys
And St. Nicholas too
“Thanks Dad!”, Adam says as he pulls the covers over his head.
“You’re welcome Adam.”, Kirt kisses him tucking him in.
[Merci beaucoup, Father. That tale was invigorating. I should tell you of my theory about all of the other Santas we see in the shopping malls and various locations about…], Hope resonates.
Kirt kisses Hope on the forehead and shakes his head, “Another time Hope. Get some sleep.”
[Good night Father.], Hope responds.
turning off the lights Good night kids. ,Kirt says as he closes the door. He thinks about two other children across the void of time and space and parallel dimensions. (Take care Robbie and Rory. Look out for your mother.)
Heather passes by him in the hallway, “Everything ok, dear?”
Kirt wipes his damp eyes and shakes his head yes breathing in, “Yeah… fine, hon.”
Heather comes up to him putting his arm around him and giving him a hug. “Let’s go to bed.” Kissing him gently.
“I’d like that…”, he smiles. “I have missed you Heather. I never thought that I would be home again. Things … went on.. while I was away.”
Heather shakes her head, “Never mind that now. You are here, home and safe with the kids and me. I never gave up hope.”
Kirt starts to cry and hug his wife tightly. “I’m sorry so very sorry. I never want to leave you again.”
“Shhh… Shh… Kirt it’s alright.” she says hugging him back.